Respect

Yossi Sheriff
"Where's the AKBAN nutrition plan?" A student asked me. In 1985, I lived in an old age home for only a few weeks. I slept in my grandmother's room to take care of her.
The old people ate three meals a day and I had to prepare myself emotionally for each meal. Every meal, a herd of old people, herd is not a strong enough word to describe the scene, would devour the food. The tenants were concentrated on a goal - eat fast, eat a lot. It was not a good experience, neither for the elderly nor for me.

I observed a woman there. She did not carry a samurai sword, she did not fight in any arena, she did not speak much, but she had an aura of power and humanity around her. This old women helped those who had to sit down, religiously blessed and washed her hands and then served food to others before she touched the food. "That's the Rebbetzin," they told me when I asked. She did a practice at every meal. I will give a name for this practice: "respect." Unnecessary respect, unnecessary, unreasonable, not obvious, and therefore an item that can not be understood in economic reason.
When you think of respect, you think of a relationship that is directed towards another person, a relationship that expresses hierarchy and social position with someone else. But there is another respect, an respect directed at a technique, an object, a way of life. Through our gaze and action (and this must be practical) we respect, we respect, a technique, someone, something. In English we write: respect, re-spicare in Latin, in the sense of "look again, look again". What do we look at again with intent? What is the unnecessary thing to do? How do we look and for what reasons? This is very important, it's fundamental.
What we do is important, but it is not the essence of practicing respect. You can just take the sword and pull it out. But the ritual that precedes the retrieval, the unnecessary ritual, the physical, is the one that establishes practice of respect.
"For respect you have to work," goes the Hebrew proverb. It does not just manifests, it's an effort. And this effort is a path that separates respect from weakness. Looking again and again at pretty girls, well, that may be re-spicare, but there is no respect in it, because it is not an effort. We need an effort, the woman naturally feels like attacking the food but she doesn't, and I want to sit all day at home, drink cola and gnaw at cheese.
Gideon, in the Bible, understood that respect separates humans from animals. To stop, (stop!), to drink water in a dignified way, to bow, to give a seat for an old man, unnecessary, unnecessary, and therefore - a gate of respect.
Respecting the food we eat, respecting the technique or the person is not an easy job and not an easy choice. I'm not looking for easy choices. "There are no shortcuts," is the motto of those who can walk long distances.
Yesterday a practitioner came to the dojo. He broke his hand three weeks ago and took off the cast. So he came with a bandage and just did the kicks and the sit-ups. It's his respect to his practice, that's how he breathes the air of a master, that's how he is more than just a creature.
For us it is Ninjutsu, for someone else it might be social work, Karate, Carpentry, Tai Chi, Vegetarianism, Prayer.
Shame and respect do not live together, shame and inner weakness live together. The unnecessary act, the additional observation, the attention, not only go against the bon ton and fashion, they produce a cycle of discipline and power. A circle that does not have to use a boxing bag to draw its boundaries, you can draw a circle of respect with a cup of tea.
respect sets the heartbeat of the martial artist, the carpenter and the poet. Only those who use respect can have strength and precision.
I set my clock to a time a few hundred years ago, measuring the time according to the correct attention in the technique, not surprised by having to do repetitive work. And the clock is my frame of reference for practicing respect. Every one can measure his attention with an individual inner clock. In the dojo it is the Ninjutsu technique. In another classroom it's an old musical instrument, an old musical score, in another discipline someone purifies himself before writing precise Hebrew letters using a feather on parchment. And when a tradition has been using respect for hundreds of years, it is an even stronger . What do I mean? You put your feet in the Ninjutsu's Kamae, you stop, stop, and listen. You can hear it, that's the sound of ancient steps, quiet, quiet steps.
You do not have to look for respect in a group of fighters, you do not have to look for it in monasteries, on the contrary - here's your nose and there's the respect, just under your nose.
No wonder there is no AKBAN diet program. A diet plan of respect and respect can only be understood by a person who has been hungry and chooses, every meal, to be hungry again, like the Rebbetzin. Chooses not to attack food but chooses to exercise power and discipline and wait a little, while hungry, especially when hungry. So, blessing the food, an respect technique. Giving a bow to the sword, an respect technique. Saying 'thank you' every morning, an respect technique. Wearing a silly skirt for training, an respect technique. Sitting quietly before a training, an respect technique. Giving a bow, an respect technique.