The tension and conflict of interests often cannot be resolved. Our only option is to try to manage our own conduct.

In Judeo-Christian thought, there is sometimes the deep intention to influence external circumstances, a conviction that this can be achieved through deed or prayer. In conflict situations, this wishful thinking leads to a common fallacy on both sides. It's either the inherited misconception that a duel is akin to war and vice versa, or the dangerous delusion that our desire for reconciliation will influence the outcome of the conflict.

Realizing that we cannot control other people, circumstances, outcomes, or even a mutual understanding of the situation is challenging but essential. The only things we truly have control over are ourselves: our bodies, senses, emotions, behavior, and sometimes our thoughts.

It's a difficult perspective to accept: often, conflicts cannot be resolved. The only control we then possess is over ourselves.